(scroll down to the full video if you want to watch more).
The Perfect Best Man Speech: What did he do well?
Authenticity – It’s obvious that this guy was completely himself throughout the speech. He leveraged his personality to entertain as well as inform.
Humour – This man is very funny. He has perfected the art of dry humour which translates well in this context. Notice how he also never laughs at his jokes, rather he pauses instead? This is a very effective delivery tactic which adds impact.
Clear theme – The speech’s theme was evident from the outset: “to capture the essence of who Joel (the groom) is” (through good stories).
Well-rehearsed – He must have spent a long time practising this. He maintained his flow, used minimal filler words, and stayed on theme without breaking off into tangents for the duration.
Body language – He is standing straight with an open posture. Makes eye contact with the audience. His full attention is on his listeners and not at prompts or notes. He uses concise hand gestures. Hands are in his pockets at times, but this helps him to look relaxed and actually adds to the overall authentic manner that he presents.
Content – What he’s saying has substance. He’s telling a lot of stories to create a vivid picture of who the groom is. This is engaging because he is revealing to the wedding guests surprising or shocking anecdotes that most of them are likely hearing for the first time!
Groom Roasting – BUT he doesn’t cross the line into inappropriate territory. He doesn’t risk offending or insulting anyone in the room.
No notes – This man is so well rehearsed that he doesn’t require prompt cards or a word-to-word speech to refer to. This isn’t easy to achieve but you can see how much more natural and captivating it is to watch and listen to someone deliver a speech without having to look down at something. He is fully focused on his audience.
So, how can you learn from this to create and deliver your own perfect best man wedding speech?
Table of Contents
Part 1 – Writing the Perfect Best Man Speech
Nail Your Theme
Identify what your speech theme will be.
Ask yourself: what do you want your audience to take-away from your speech? What do you want them to remember about it?
A safe bet is picking the same theme as the guy above – telling stories to “capture the essence” of your groom.
If it’s still not clear to you yet what your theme is, then you can also jot down your favourite stories about the groom, why he’s a great friend/brother/relative etc to you, what you like about him, and/or what you know about him that nobody else in the room will (keep it PG!).
Create a Framework
Map out your speech from start to finish.
Once you’re happy with your theme, now it’s time to map out the flow of your speech from start to finish.
You need to establish what the main points you want to bring up are and what the concluding message is going to be.
The anecdotes and memories you’ve chosen to mention can then flesh out these key points.
Keep the Focus of Your Speech on the Happy Couple, Not You
Remember why you’re there.
Granted, the stories that you’re telling will probably be about your own relationship with the groom but try not to make your relationship with the groom the focus of your speech.
Keep linking your stories back to the bride and groom’s relationship. It ultimately has to be about them, not you.
Remember, the purpose of a best man’s speech at a wedding is use your unique perspective to shine some light on the bride and groom and why they’re a great match.
Weave in Emotion and Personality
Feel the feels and keep it authentic.
A perfect best man’s speech needs some feeling and emotion (not just humour!) to make it meaningful and impactful.
Don’t be afraid to write down some feelings or talk about an emotional time you shared with the groom and how that made you feel. Weddings are all about feelings so your speech will be out of place if it’s void of them.
Where can you enhance the speech with your personality? Just as the best man in the video leveraged his dry humour to entertain and engage, what personality traits can you bring to your speech? How can you weave them into your stories?
If you want to do something unexpected or different then do! – Maybe you’ve got a special talent like singing, dancing, or writing poetry? Use it!
But if anything, just be genuine and authentic – you were invited to be the best man because of who the groom knows you to be so make sure you show up as YOU in your speech.
Stay Appropriate
You really don’t want the added stress of feeling like you’ve upset or insulted anyone, and you don’t want people cringing at you!
To avoid any of this, stick to the general rule:
If you have to ask yourself if something is appropriate to mention, then it probably isn’t so don’t include it.
Remember your audience will be made up of different demographics, cultures, backgrounds, and generations. You’re not in a room with all of the groom’s closest mates!
Also, keep things positive and light. Your job is to uplift people with your speech!
Once you’re happy with the theme and structure of your speech. You can either write a word-for-word script or create some detailed notes to practise with.
I would advise to keep the whole speech under 5 minutes (remember there are a lot of speeches to get through!)
Part 2 – Practice
Delivering a speech that you’ve never rehearsed is a big NO-NO! It will be obvious, and you’ll be perceived as a lazy best man!
It’s a good idea to practise first on your own until you’re happy with it. Then practise in front of other people and ask for constructive feedback – are there any other groomsmen, friends, ushers or stags you can ask for support with this?
Ideally, before the wedding you want to have completed a successful and smooth dry-run in front of a small group of people.
Part 3 – Delivering the Perfect Best Man Speech
Go easy on the alcohol!
The last thing you want is to be slurring through your speech. I’d advise not to drink at all before, but if you really need to then just have one.
Relax
If you’re feeling nervous then calm yourself down with deep breaths. Try not to take it too seriously. The day is all about the bride and groom, not you.
Now we know from the case study above that having no notes or prompts to refer to during your speech is the exemplary approach here (that’s not to say that you can’t bring your notes to read through beforehand).
Unless you have successfully rehearsed without your script or prompts and are, most importantly, CONFIDENT that you can deliver this speech without anything then I would not advise you to be empty handed on the day.
So, if you do require written notes to help then the best things you can use are prompt cards with bullet points / phrases / images on them (not the entire speech word-for-word please).
Please DO NOT
Use sheets of A4 paper (these will rustle and create interference in your microphone)
Read your notes off your mobile phone (it just doesn’t work / looks lazy).
Body language
Make sure you have an open posture. Have eye contact with the audience where possible.
Use succinct hand gestures to emphasise your points. And ensure your attention is focused on your listeners!
If you can do all this, then rest assured you will be fantastic and will have delivered a memorable best man’s speech!
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I hope you’ve found this article useful.
Cheers to you on your confident, engaging, and authentic perfect best-man speech!
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